In a recent post I addressed my experience of disability as the ultimate invisability cloak. This post is going to look at what people have said to me which I have thought thoughtless, pointless or just plain rude!
"But x has that just like you and they still manage to drive/ have a job etc". Really? when I am in constant chronic pain I don't care about x and illness/life is not a competition. Everyone is different and reactions to illness/medication are not the same. Also x may not have the same illness/disability so your statement is mute and unwanted.
"Have you though about having acupuncture?" x is so much better since she had it done. I am under 4 different consultants, 3 different clinics and my GP. If they though acupuncture would "cure" me and save the NHS thousands in the morphine patches they prescribe I would have had it by now and be skipping through life. Go through 7+ years of medical school and then you can give me your (unwanted, pointless) advice.
"But you don't look disabled". Should I have a D tattooed across my forehead. When I am sat down on a good day I may look "normal". On a bad day I will be in bed, throwing up with pain, not a pretty sight and you wont see me.
"But you get disability benefits, you are well off" really? try the stress of worrying about if the eligibility rules are going to change at the whim of a Conservative, disability hating, government. Try filling in the humiliating PIP/ ESA forms and attending their medicals, then worrying that they are going to lie in their report as they get bonuses for getting people off disability benefits. Ps I used to earn more before I broke my neck.
"you are so lucky to stay at home all day and not have to work". Yes I am so lucky, I don't get to interact with anyone but my cat and mum. Slowly my friends vanished, I am in pain constantly but at least I get to watch daytime tv on a regular basis.
These are the more recent annoying statements that people have said to me.